No I'm Sorry
by C-chanYagami
Summary: Jessie contemplates James and meets a friend


James: C-chan_Yagami does not own Pokemon. The show, that is. She does have a rather well trained Marril. I've been blasted off a few times by it. Owies. ::begins to sniffle at the memory:: Anyway, she intends no infringements. Enjoy! ::runs off to seek comfort in Jessie:: JESS?!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
No "I'm Sorry"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"I can't take this anymore! We constantly fail and it's all your fault!" Jessie screamed.  
James sat, pressed hard against a tree, his eyes scrunched closed tight. He waited for the blow that never came.  
Jessie lifted a hand to smack James but quickly gave up.  
"That's it! I quit!" Jessie yelled, storming off into the woods.  
***  
"Why do you always blame me?!" Tracey yelled. "It's not always my fault we get lost!"  
Ash and Misty stood, staring at him in shock. Tracey had never blown up like this before. They waited, afraid of what was coming next.  
Tracey glared at his friends and was only more sure of his decision.  
"I can get along just fine myself, and I'm sure I won't get lost!" he hollered, turning to hurry into the woods.  
***  
Jessie ran, dodging trees until she reached a clearing. She sighed and dropped to her knees to catch her breath. Tears finally came as she folded her legs under her and leaned against a tree.  
***  
Tracey bounced off trees, cursing under his breath until he found an open area. He breathed deep and fell to the ground. He leaned against a tree and closed his eyes, mumbling to himself.  
***  
Jessie looked across the field and saw a dark-haired boy mirroring her movements. She almost giggled at the headband she noted. She knew it was red, but it was so light it looked pink. It's functional if not fashionable, Jessie thought. I could use a change in my hairstyle. Ha. I'll chop it short and get myself a headband.  
Jessie sat up and approached the young boy. Jessie placed him at about sixteen, maybe seventeen if he was on the small side. She sat against the tree to the boy's immediate left.  
***  
Tracey opened his eyes to see the girl from across the clearing had moved to sit next to him.  
"Hello," he greeted.  
"Hey," she replied. "Jessie," she offered with her hand.  
"Tracey," he countered, accepting her hand to shake.  
"Tracey? Isn't that a girl's name?" she laughed with a good natured tone.  
"Jessie? Isn't that a guy's name?" Tracey mimicked with a smile.  
"Short for Jessica," Jessie explained. "What's your excuse?"  
Tracey shrugged.  
"My mom was a hippie?" he offered uselessly. Jessie laughed.  
"Good excuse." Jessie glanced down at her hands before wiping her face. "Mind me asking why you're here?"  
"No. I blew up at my friends and decided to ditch them for a bit." He looked to Jessie. "You?"  
Jessie shrugged.  
"Something like that. Not sure if it's a permanent split yet, though."  
Tracey watched her for a second.  
"What'd your friend do?" he inquired. "If you don't mind my asking."  
"I don't mind. Come to think of it, I don't really know what I can blame him for," Jessie laughed sarcastically.  
Tracey nodded.  
"I guess I just got frustrated."  
Jessie looked up at Tracey.  
"We work together," she explained. "And...we just haven't been...successful lately. I ripped into him and told him I quit."  
"My friends are always blaming me for getting lost. Half the time, I don't even have the map."  
Jessie giggled.  
"So I finally got fed up with it. I told them off and ditched them."  
"Looks like we're both on our own, huh?" Jessie commented. Tracey bobbed his head in agreement. They sat in silence for a moment or two. "Nice headband," Jessie finally laughed. "I'm sorry," she shook. She waved her hand in dismissal. "I couldn't help it. It's just-" Jessie fell into another giggle. "I'm horrible; I'm so sorry."  
Tracey glared at her for a second, but soon fell into laughter himself.  
"Don't worry about it. I know; It's pink. Believe me, I've caught that little detail," he sighed.  
"But you don't do anything about this fact?" Jessie chuckled. "I mean...it's pink!" she laughed once more.  
Tracey shook his head. Finally he looked up at her.  
"You're one to talk; look at your hair," he pointed.  
Jessie wiped tears from her eyes.  
"Hmm?" she giggled.  
"Look at it, all sticking out in the back," he commented. "You ever go broke, I can tell you why! All that hairspray!"  
Jessie tried hard to get angry, but all she could do was laugh. She hung her head and laughed. Tracey joined her and they laughed together for what seemed like hours.  
***  
"You know, I have been thinking about changing my hair," Jessie mentioned. She was sprawled out on her back, her legs sticking up against the tree and crossed at the ankle. Tracey had followed suit without crossing his legs.  
"Really? You'd look kinda nice with short hair. You'd look...very pretty."  
Jessie blushed.  
"I should chop it real short someday. Get me a headband like yours," she giggled, only half-joking.  
"I could do that for you," Tracey challenged.  
"What?"  
"Cut your hair."  
"Really?" Jessie questioned.  
"Yeah. Next time we see each other; I'll do it up real nice."  
"Sounds good," she accepted. Tracey reached out and fiddled with a section of her hair.  
***  
"You know," Jessie began. "James isn't so bad."  
Tracey nodded, then raised an eyebrow in confusion.  
"Who's James?"  
"My partner. It's not always his fault we fail."  
"Yeah," Tracey agreed. "Ash and Misty don't mean to blame me all the time," Tracey conceded.  
Jessie stopped in her thoughts.  
"Those names sound familiar," Jessie mused.  
"They just get frustrated," Tracey finished.  
The new friends nodded.  
"Think we should give them another chance?" Tracey asked. Jessie nodded. Tracey stood and held out a hand to help Jessie. She accepted it and brushed off her skirt.  
"I guess we're off," she said.  
"You wanna come back tomorrow?" Tracey asked casually. Jessie nodded.  
"Same place, same time."  
The two shook on it and separated.  
***  
"Jessie?" James questioned. He paused in his packing and sniffled. Jessie raised an eyebrow and giggled.  
"You didn't think I was serious about quitting, did you?"  
James shook his head.  
"No?" he replied.  
"Good," Jessie nodded haughtily. "Then let's get some sleep."  
James nodded and spread his sleeping bag out.  
***  
"Ash? Misty?" Tracey stood at the edge of the campsite. Ash and Misty turned around from their seats at the fire and watched him with little emotion. "I'm sorry, you guys. I flipped out and I shouldn't have. Forgive me?"  
Ash and Misty smiled and allowed him a space by the fire. He smiled and accepted.  
***  
"James! I'm going out for a walk. I'll be a while." Jessie turned and left without waiting for a response.  
***  
"Ash? Misty? I'm heading out for a bit." Tracey zippered his backpack and flung it over his shoulder.  
"You gonna be long?" Misty inquired. Tracey shrugged.  
"I might. I won't miss dinner. I'll see you." Misty and Ash waved as he walked off.  
***  
Tracey reached the clearing and found Jessie already there.  
"Hey," he greeted, dropping his backpack. Jessie looked up and smiled.  
"Hey."  
"I'm not late, am I?" Tracey queried as he rooted through his bag.  
"No," Jessie assured, approaching him. "What are you looking for?" she asked nervously.  
Tracey pulled out his scissors.  
"These," he indicated. "Good thing you didn't put your hair up yet. It's easier to cut like this," he smiled.  
Jessie backed away a bit.  
"You were serious?" she asked carefully.  
"Yeah. Why? Second thoughts?" he checked.  
Jessie stood up bravely, lifting a fist.  
"Of course not," she snarled, her hair blowing in her face and ruining her tough appearance.  
"Good," Tracey replied calmly. "Then sit down; this may take a while."  
***  
Tracey circled Jessie and made a few final snips. Jessie looked around helplessly at the mounds of hair surrounding her.  
"My hair..." she whispered.  
"Bangs or no bangs?" Tracey asked, kicking aside a particularly large pile of hair.  
"Eh...bangs," she replied.  
"All right," Tracey nodded, standing in front of her. "Fold your legs," he instructed, kneeling in the space that became available.  
Tracey carefully wetted and combed Jessie's suddenly shortened hair. Jessie giggled as the strands fell into her face.  
"It's so short!" she marveled. Tracey smiled as he made the first clip. He continued until he had made a gently curving fringe across Jessie's forehead.  
Jessie watched carefully as bits of her vision was slowly renewed. She was soon able to see Tracey concentrating on his work. He softly pulled each section of hair out and was very specific as to where he cut it. After he cut each strand, he compared it to the rest before starting again. Every so often, Tracey would look down and his eyes would meet Jessie's. They would smile and he would blush before turning his attention to the work at hand.  
"There," he said finally. "Done." He shook the clippings off his scissors and slipped them back into his backpack.  
Jessie smiled and shook her head. She giggled at the sensation of the ends gracing her shoulders.  
"Thank you so much," she laughed. "Ha. Wait until James sees this!"  
Tracey grinned. He lifted a hand to his hair and pulled off his headband. He handed it to Jessie.  
"Oh, Tracey...I can't take this," Jessie protested.  
"No, come on. It's not like I don't have others. Go ahead," he insisted, running his fingers through his hair.  
Jessie smiled and slipped it on.  
"Thank you so much. I wish I had something to give you," she offered empty-handedly. Tracey shook his head and dug through his backpack once more. He frowned.  
"I could've sworn I packed it," he muttered.  
"What are you looking for?" Jessie asked, peering over his shoulder and gently laying a hand on his back.  
"Doesn't matter," he shrugged. He inadvertently turned towards Jessie and came millimeters to her face. He softly brushed his mouth to hers in a split-second decision and pulled back, blushing. Jessie smiled.  
"Eh, thank you again," she murmured gratefully. Her grin grew wider. "I'm going to go show James my new hair!" she giggled, stumbling a bit as she turned. She waved over her shoulder as she went. Suddenly, she turned back to face him again. "Come back tomorrow?" she offered. Tracey nodded.  
"Yeah! Same time!" he responded. Jessie waved once more before disappearing. Tracey turned to leave, swinging his bag over his shoulder, and walked squarely into a tree.  
***  
Jessie returned at the campsite and decided to say nothing about her hair. James probably won't even notice, she pouted briefly.  
"JESS! YOUR HAIR!" James yelled the instant he saw her.  
"What?" Jessie asked innocently. "You don't like it?"  
James stood gaping for a moment, unsure of what to say.  
"It's gorgeous," he finally murmured. "Did you do it yourself?" he inquired.  
Jessie recalled her last few moments and blushed.  
"Eh...a friend did it for me," she muttered. "Where's Meowth?" she asked quickly.  
***  
Tracey sat by the fire that had been set while he was gone.  
"Sorry I'm so late," he mumbled with a grin. "I didn't miss dinner, did I?" he asked.  
"No," Ash answered. "What's with you?" he giggled. Tracey chuckled.  
"I kissed her."  
"Your new friend?" Misty smiled. Tracey nodded.  
"Good for you," Ash added.  
"Hold on. You kissed her or she kissed you?" Misty asked.  
"I kissed her," Tracey reiterated.  
"So I take it she didn't beat you and run away in tears," Misty responded dryly. Tracey shook his head without reacting to her sarcasm. "Lucky you," she sighed, glancing sadly at Ash.  
***  
Tracey packed a few things into his backpack the next morning. He found a purple headband and smiled.  
"I knew I had another one," he muttered, slipping it on. "That's better. I can see again," he laughed to himself. He continued to gather some things, grinning upon discovering his sketchbook and shoving it excitedly into his bag.  
"Hey," Ash greeted. "Running off to meet your friend?"  
"Yeah. I shouldn't be too late. Not like last night."  
Ash nodded.  
"Have fun," he teased. Tracey grinned.  
"I will."  
***  
"Jess? Are you leaving again?" James watched as Jessie ran her fingers through her hair and slipped her headband on with a pang of guilt. Oh, James.  
"Yeah," she said coldly. "I dunno when I'll be back."  
Jessie turned and walked away, purposely swishing her hair.  
"Jess?" She heard James's hurt voice ring out as she left. "What about Pikachu? And where did you get that headband?"  
***  
"Jessica!" Tracey called out and waved to her as she entered the clearing. Jessie started at the sound of her full name. No one had ever called her 'Jessica' but her late mother and...James.  
Jessie shook her head and waved back.  
"Tracey!" she called. She rushed at him as though they hadn't seen each other in ages. Jessie willingly threw herself into a friendly embrace and Tracey was more than happy to reciprocate. Jessie paused. Why on earth can I let this person hug me? I can't even let James touch me, let alone hug me. Why am I so much more open to a stranger than...my closest friend?  
"Wow, give you a haircut and you're a whole new person!" Tracey exclaimed with a chuckle. Jessie giggled as she pulled away.  
"I have something for you," she blushed shyly. I'm so different around Tracey. I would never be this...passive around James.  
Tracey cocked his head and raised an eyebrow as he smiled.  
"Oh, really?" he asked. "What's that?"  
Jessie blushed again and became suddenly fascinated by her feet.  
"Eh...here," she mumbled, handing the item to him. Tracey smiled warmly at the gesture.  
She had handed him nothing but a small white rose that had yet to blossom. She had swiped it from James but knew he wouldn't miss it. Tracey took the tiny flower with gentle hands that seemed unusually warm to Jessie.  
"Thank you so much," he smiled, tucking the bud under his headband. It stuck straight up at his temple. Jessie looked up and giggled. "What?" Tracey asked, fully aware of his appearance, yet denying this knowledge.  
Jessie shook her head.  
"Nothing. It just-" Jessie stood on her toes to reach the blossom. I didn't realize Tracey was so tall! He's even taller than James.  
Jessie tilted the stem so the flower was a little less...prominent. She came down off her perch with less than the required grace. She wavered and would have fallen if it had not been for Tracey's strong arms quickly steadying her by her waist. Jessie blushed deeply. Tracey couldn't contain a giddy chuckle.  
"Whoa," he laughed. "Not as graceful as you seem...are you?" he finished in a whisper, realizing how close he was to her. Jessie shook her head slowly and Tracey leaned in a bit.  
Jessie shied away some and easily slid his arms off her. She stepped back and smiled. Tracey nodded and looked down as a pokéball fell from his waist. He bent down to pick it up.  
"Eh...you have pokémon?" Jessie asked. Finally, something in common besides stupid friends! Something on which to base this...whatever this throbbing is.  
Tracey straightened and nodded.  
"You?"  
Jessie nodded as well.  
"How many do you have?" she inquired, pulling hers out as well. She rolled the two pokéballs in her hand.  
"A whole lot," Tracey smiled. "Marril, Venonat, Scyther...the list goes on. You?"  
"Eh...I only have two," Jessie admitted sheepishly. "Arbok and Li-eh, Wobefat. I had a Lickitung, but..."  
"But what?" Tracey asked, sitting down. He seemed truly concerned. Jessie sighed.  
"Ugh. I accidentally traded my Lickitung for this pathetic Wobefat," Jessie sneered, releasing the mentioned pokémon.  
"Wobe!" came the serene call. Jessie sighed and rolled her eyes. Tracey noted her reaction with a smile.  
"A Wobefat isn't all that bad," Tracey offered. "If you train it well enough, it's counterattack can be very powerful."  
"I guess," Jessie conceded, releasing Arbok.  
"Shaa-bok!"  
"Besides, if you are that unhappy with the attacks, you can try some of those Taught Maneuvers," Tracey suggested.  
Jessie nodded and sighed, remembering when she captured her Lickitung. Tracey took note of her despondent attitude.  
"You loved that Lickitung, didn't you?" he stated. Jessie looked up and smiled sadly.  
"Yeah, I guess I did," she conceded. There was a few moments of shared silence.  
"You don't usually make your feelings known, do you?" Tracey voiced. Jessie's head shot up as the realization dawned on her.  
"I guess not...how can you tell by only knowing me for a few days?" she marveled.  
"I'm a pokémon watcher," Tracey explained. "I'm trained to notice these things." He turned to Arbok. "Your Arbok has amazing color!" he exclaimed. "You must take great care of her!"  
Jessie beamed with pride.  
"I've had Arbok since she was an Ekans. James gave her to me for Christmas at PokéTech when we were nine."  
"I can also tell you're awfully attached to this James," Tracey added. Jessie's smile faded.  
"Not really. We're partners; that's all," she protested. Tracey narrowed his eyes.  
"Liar."  
Jessie smiled dryly.  
"Maybe."  
***  
Jessie returned to the campsite with tears in her eyes. The walk back had been so long today. Jessie wiped her face and took the last turn. She looked up to find James already asleep. Jessie smiled at the sight of James. She finally allowed her heart to race at the thought of his touch. She finally allowed the tears to fall at the realization that he couldn't possibly love her.  
Jessie sighed and slipped into her sleeping bag. She narrowed her eyes in thought. Jessie made a silent promise to herself to tell James how much he meant to her the next day.  
***  
Tracey headed back to his friends that night with a mixture of guilt and rejection. He found them sitting around the fire.  
"Hey, guys. I'm sorry I'm so late."  
Ash looked up and smiled.  
"No biggie. You have fun?"  
Tracey hung his head.  
"Not really. Kinda got ditched."  
Misty shot up.  
"You poor thing!" she exclaimed. "What did she do?"  
Tracey smiled sadly.  
"It was my fault. I'm actually proud of myself. I helped her realize how much she loved her friend."  
"Well, uh...good for you, I guess," Ash offered. Tracey nodded.  
"Yeah."  
***  
Jessie yawned and looked over to find James sitting up on his sleeping bag, book in hand. Jessie smiled at the sight of him in glasses. He refused to admit his need for them, but, on occasion, when he thought no one would see, he'd use them.  
Jessie quietly stood up and made her way to him. She sat next to him and leaned over his shoulder.  
"What are you reading?" she asked softly. James jumped.  
"Eh, nothing important," he answered, dropping the book in his pile of things and pulling his glasses off. He waited for the strike he was expecting for wasting his time on such foolishness. It never came. "Jess?"  
Jessie took a deep breath and suddenly found herself shy.  
"James, I-eh...I, eh-"  
"Jess, what's wrong?" James asked, worried and impatient.  
"I love you," Jessie blurted.  
James sat back a bit. He smiled a bit, but it faded.  
"Yeah, right," he laughed. "Good one, but I'd rather you hit me from now on," he chuckled, once more lifting his book.  
Jessie sat back on her heels and let her mouth fall open. A small cry escaped her. James watched her run off.  
"Oh, no," he muttered. "My one chance and I blew it."  
***  
Tracey woke the next morning to the smell of eggs.  
"Hey," Ash greeted. "You running off to meet your friend today?"  
Tracey shook his head.  
"No. It's time we moved on, anyway. You still need one more badge for Jhoto, don't you?"  
Ash nodded.  
"All right. We'll get going when Misty wakes up."  
Tracey was about to ask how much longer breakfast would take when a scream from the woods attracted the attention of both him and Ash.  
"Tracey?" came the call. It sounded teary and desperate. Tracey stood and Jessie burst out of the trees. "Tracey..." she trailed as she ran into his arms. "Tracey, he hates me! I can't bear to lose him, Tracey; what do I do?"  
"Jessie?" Ash whispered. He somehow felt total pity for this once enemy.  
"Jessie, calm down," Tracey soothed. "I doubt he hates you. Come on. What would make you say that?"  
Jessie pulled back.  
"I'm a horrible person," she began. "I'm so violent around him because I'm so afraid I'm going to lose him and now I've lost him."  
"Jessie! Jessie, you're not a horrible person. You may have had a horrible past and you may have done some horrible things, but you are not a horrible person!" Tracey insisted.  
"Then why does he hate me?" she wept. "I've loved him for so long and he can't stand me."  
"Jessie, look at me."  
Jessie looked up at Tracey's comforting eyes.  
"I'm sure he doesn't hate you. He couldn't possibly. I'm your friend and I won't lie to you. He loves you. I know he does. I couldn't imagine otherwise."  
Jessie stopped her tears and hugged Tracey.  
"Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you so much."  
Tracey was about to voice more praise when another figure burst through the woods.  
"Jessica? Jessica!"  
James came running at her.  
"Jessica, I am so sorry. I've loved you for so long and once you told me, I blew it. Can you forgive me? Can you ever still love me?" James asked frantically. Jessie said nothing but kissed him hard. James wrapped his arms around her and pulled back. "I am so sorry."  
Jessie touched a finger to his lips.  
"No 'I'm sorry'. Only 'I love you'," she whispered, kissing him again.  
"I love you," he murmured. He looked up at Tracey. "I dunno what you did to her, man, but thank you."  
Tracey grinned.  
"No problem. Anything to help a friend." 


End file.
